July 18, 2009

Guest POST!! By KENNETH ONG!!! Have fun...

I’ve been allowed a guest post on this blog, so first and foremost allow me to thank mun, warren and maya. Now that I’ve got that out of the way, there are a few things I am going to address in this post.

Identity. Pretty important to most people, and there is hardly a doubt that everyone has some sense of identity, just like every Maori has a pitbull. Anyway, unless you don’t care about your own dignity and, well, everything about yourself: who you are, what you are, how you got to where you are and about every other W question out there about yourself, then u can leave identity among the pile of mess somewhere in your room, assuming of course, you are at least half human and have better things to do than cleaning up your room. But for the rest of us, identity is to us, what muscles are to Edmen. Not implying that he has no sense of identity or whatever…. However, what happens when somebody takes it too far?

Let me give you lot an example. A Sri Lankan will tell you he’s Sri Lankan. Sounds fair enough? Well, to some extent, yes. But in other cases, no. If you were to walk up to a Sri Lankan in the Kiwiland and ask him ‘are you Indian?’ He will say ‘no, I’m Sri Lankan.’ But then you think to yourself ‘but wait, I didn’t ask what’s his nationality… I wanted to know his race! Okay nevermind, maybe he didn’t actually know I was asking his about his ethnicity, I’ll try again. Take two.’ So you ask again, ‘ no, I meant ur ethnicity’. The lil bastard then goes and say, ‘ yeah, I’m Sri Lankan.’ At that point in time, at that very split second, any self respecting person in the world would have an ALL CAPS explosion in his/her mind that goes somewhere along the lines of (read aloud and well pronounced for maximum impact):

And then you calm yourself down with all your might, try as hard as possible to convince the person that there is no such thing as a Sri Lankan race. An argument (an intellectual one, not swearing your head off) follows, and you try to argue that what the Sri Lankan ideology of ‘if someone stays in a country long enough he/she eventually becomes a fictional race of that country’ is fundamentally flawed. However, you eventually concede defeat to this overidentityness, draped in red garments, that is not going to budge for an overpumped, testosterone charged, horny raging bull charging its way, and looking for a victim to make man love to. Or is this ignorance that we are losing to? Maybe abit of both.

And that brings me to ignorance. Whoever coined the phrase ignorance is bliss, is truly ignorant. And therefore, is truly blind/is idiotic/has herpes, and probably had a brain chewed up and spat out by a cow, then got all it’s remains smeared on the pavement. The next thing that probably happened is, a kid came along and decided to make a sculpture of a brain. Some hobo then walked by and put the paste into his head.

The general idea behind ‘ignorance is bliss’ is: whatever you don’t know cant hurt you. This theory is fundamentally flawed. Hobo #2 up there doesn’t know that the hooker he’s about to screw has got aids or some other painful std. That doesn’t mean it aint gonna hurt him. At this point, you might be thinking: ‘now come on, this ‘”ignorance” cant be THAT bad…’ On face value, it serves only to irritate and poke one’s intelligence. But after explaining to somebody TEN BLOODY TIMES that just because your from Malaysia doesn’t make you Malay, you start to wonder just how somebody even arrived at that conclusion. This leads to the conclusion that someone who is ignorant, is also an incumbent twat, and that anyone with a statement filled with IGNORANCE is a total waste of time. Hell, sometimes it makes me just want to shout out “usted está robando mi tiempo!!!!” On the topic of Malaysia, its good to be going back home. I will know I’m home, when the doors part, and the blast of hot, humid, Malaysian air hits my face.

3rd July 2009

Kenneth Ong

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